I’m not pessimistic usually, but New Year’s Resolutions are definitely at the top of my list of anti-cool. How in the world am I suppose to be able to say, ‘Poof! And now I will eat healthy from now on, starting today!’…? Or decide that this year I will sleep more, drink less, meditate more, do better with my money, etc. Why do I need this special holiday to finally make a change?
In reality, we know we should eat healthier, sleep more, keep our mental state clear, but we still have trouble taking this logic and making it a reality. Just look at the top resolutions for 2020!
It is really about marrying the logical with the emotional. Without finding a way to make the logical ‘feel good’, we won’t be able to move forward in a meaningful way.
We all want to manage our time and energy to make it through the day in one piece. So the question is: what story have I told myself emotionally feels good about what I am doing, even if logically I know it isn’t quite right for me?
When I am looking to change something, I generally want to understand:
- Why am I doing this? Do I find joy in doing this?
- Has this become a ‘ritual’?
- What do I want to change? How can I make this change feel good?
- How can I interrupt my mental path?
- What do I need to do to create a new ‘ritual’ that has a better chance of long term success?
Let’s take my great nemesis, TV, as an example. I can go months without watching much TV at all, but then a sudden addiction of Netflix and HBO set in. Mostly this happens when times are stressful and I want a mental break. Being human is hard.
- Why am I doing this? Do I find joy in this? I turned TV time into my ‘I deserve a mindless break’ time to give my brain a pause. I’ve told myself this is a happy relaxing moment for me…but afterwards I’m always asking myself why it doesn’t feel like I really relaxed much.
- Has this become a ‘ritual’? Yes, we put the kiddo to bed and I stretch out on the couch with a blanket and curled up with the dogs. It feels so good, but then I wonder where the time went.
- What do I want to change? How can I make this change feel good? I still want a mental break for myself, but I want to be more aware of the act so I can luxuriate in the feeling of the mental break.
- How can I interrupt my mental path? Log out of Netflix and HBO (or cancel them).
- What do I need to do to create a new ‘ritual’ that has a better chance of long term success? My downfall seems to be sitting down on the couch. Maybe taking the dogs for a walk outside instead. After that, I can doodle in a notebook, listen to relaxing music, or read a book about something totally unrelated to work.
Ready for the punch line? It works with money habits too!
Right now, we are going through a 2019 Post-Mortem for the majority of our clients. This post-mortem is meant to answer the same questions around spending. Yet, everyone is at a different level of understanding of what their spending plans are. And yes, even if you don’t have a spending plan, you do. Spending happens every day and you are making choices one way or another.
First, we go through all transactions from the prior year (including an Amazon order history report) and categorize them to see what ‘is’. We categorize to better understand where spending happens. House expenses, subscriptions, dining out, shopping, kids stuff, entertainment, etc.
Then, we get together to go through the questions:
- Why am I doing this? Do I find joy in this?
For example: some clients eat lunch out every day because of time and energy. However, when they talk about joy in eating out for lunch – this tends to be the farthest thing from their mind. It’s not like they are eating out with friends every day, they are grabbing lunch as fast as possible to get back to work.
- Has this become a ‘ritual’?
For sure, no packing lunch in the morning (little time) and in need for a quick fix by lunch time. I meant to pack a lunch, but the kids never seem to know where their shoes are and forget how to brush their teeth every morning!
- What do I want to change? How can I make this change feel good?
I want to feel less like I’m coming at this from a scarcity place of no food and no time. That stresses me out and then I feel guilty about spending so much money on it by the end of the week. Sometimes I don’t have time to wait in line for the good healthy food places and I end up with fried stuff I don’t even like.
I’d love the change to feel better by giving me time. I don’t want to feel frazzled about making food, and I want a nice break at lunch time where I can actually relax a bit instead of rushing around. Basically, a good (money) habit.
- How can I interrupt my mental path?
Weekend food prep? Checking into a weekly chef / food service that can bring me healthy meals on the weekend that I can pop into the fridge and grab on the go during the week.
- What do I need to do to create a new ‘ritual’ that has a better chance of long term success?
I will let my family know this is something that is important to me and block time off on my calendar now to make this a priority and a reminder.
Believe it or not, a weekly meal prep service can often cost less than eating out for lunch every day. Others find it easy if they can get a slow cooker and recipes that allow them to throw stuff in, set it and forget it on the weekend. Both of these options take a good habit, and turn it into a good (money) habit for the client. And for others this isn’t even something they care to change. The goal is to find where you do want to stretch and find ways to make the change easy.
If you are interested in digging into this more, I suggest reading…
The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
Good Habits, Bad Habits: The Science of Making Positive Changes That Stick
Here’s How to Easily Create a Budget
3 Steps for Long Term Budgeting Success
January 1st isn’t the only time we can start fresh. Any day is a good day to review your habits and decide whether making a change could mean better mental health and a better life 🙂
Ready to change your money habits? Schedule an introductory call with us to find out how we can help you.
